Savionfunk's Xanga

A Fairy Tale...

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:27:18 GMT

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful mom who lived in a (mostly) beautiful world. She was gorgeous, inside and out, and she grew up with the whole universe at her fingertips. But for some reason, she just never quite believed the world was hers, and that she deserved every piece of it. Luckily, one day (while she was being beautiful), she met a man. This man was kind, handsome, goofy, and knew for sure that she was something special, even though she didn't believe it. He did really nice things for her (like open doors and make jokes when she was sad) and finally, through tenacity and persistence and sheer annoyance, he convinced her that he was her Prince Charming and that she was a real live princess who really deserved a guy like him! The Beautiful Mom and the Charming Dad fell madly in love and soon, they had two Spectacular Children! The years passed, and though the Charming Dad and the Beautiful Mom still loved each other, the Beautiful Mom got sadder and sadder, and one day, the Evil Doubt Dragon showed up and just would not go away! As her kids grew up and moved away, and she got older, she kept thinking she wasn't smart enough, or pretty enough, or worthy of the love that everyone was giving her. Every day she would say, "But what do I know?" And her Spectacular Daughter thought to herself...

You know how to be an amazing mom. You know how to make chili your special way and the perfect fudge at Christmas. You know how to raise kids who are smart and independent, and believe in themselves. You know how to change a diaper and warm a bottle. You know how to instill integrity and confidence in your family. You know how to clean until things are spotless (much to the daughter's chagrin). You know how to put together a classy yet tastefully hip outfit and look like a million bucks in it. You know how to have a really fun time, and how to beat the pants off of everyone in Yatzhee. You know how to be married for 29 years. And most importantly, you know how to love and love and love until you couldn't possibly love anymore.

And the Spectacular Daughter thought to herself, "Sure, I know how to read a book and write a report. But what in the world do you do with a baby? And a family? And how do you get the stains out of the carpet on the stairs!?!?! My Beautiful Mom knows where it's at. It's a good thing I'll be able to ask her how to do all this when I grow up..."

But the Beautiful Mom just couldn't be convinced and she got sick. So sick that she had to be rushed to the Dark and Terrible Hospital. But just when everyone thought the worst was to come, the Beautiful Mom reminded them that though she might not believe in herself, she was stubborn. And she was not a quitter. And that maybe her extraordinary love for her family and friends was enough to make it all worthwhile. And she fought! Oh, how she fought! She wrangled and wrestled the Evil Doubt Dragon and forced her way back to her Beautiful Life from seemingly impossible circumstances. And the Charming Dad, and the Spectacular Kids rejoiced and clapped and laughed and loved because they had their Beautiful Mom back!

But sadly, not every fairy tale has a happy ending. Despite the Charming Dad and the Spectacular Kids best efforts, and despite the fact that the Beautiful Mom knew somewhere, deep down, that she was indeed Beautiful and Fabulous and Special and worthy of all the love the world could give her, it just wasn't enough. She fought the evil Doubt Dragon to the very end, and showed extraordinary courage and valor, but soon, he was just too Powerful and Evil, and the Beautiful Mom died...

As with everything the Beautiful Mom touched, though, there was a lot of good that came out of her Brave and Beautiful Life. The Charming Dad had 29 years of marriage with a woman he loved and who loved him. The Spectacular Kids learned what it means to love unconditionally, and to be loved unconditionally; to commit to things and to follow through; To never take being confident in yourself for granted; How to be brave beyond your means and how to overcome impossible circumstances. And most importantly, what it takes to be a hero.

And even though the Spectacular Kids won't be able to call the Beautiful Mom for advice anymore, and the Charming Dad lost his best friend and his lover, none of them will ever forget what the Beautiful Mom taught them or what she mean to them or how much they all loved each other.

And that is the happiest ending that anyone could ask for.
--------------------------------

My heart could explode with the love I feel for you Mom. I simply don't know what I'll do without you.

You always were and always will be the most amazing woman I have ever had the privilege to meet.

You are my hero.

I love you.
Jessica

2007 Awards

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 23:19:49 GMT

2007 Awards
Current mood: accomplished

Taken from my lovely friend Chris- thank you!

2007 Awards

1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR Well, you can't rule out the old standby's- so to Willow and John, thank you for continuing to encourage my alchoholic tendancies. The newcomer award goes to Shawnna Jorgensenn (is that how you spell it?). I forsee many more long nights of wine and chat at Schillers...not to mention BC.

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend) drumroll please! Sarah Matthes, my best friend in the entire world, with whom I have been acquainted for 24 YEARS! That being said, I must mention those who have hit the 10 year mark, as that is a pretty big accomplishment- Steve, Antuan, Grant, Jermaine, JVP, Avery , Audrey, Jessie B., Laura Bess. I love you all so much!

3) NEWCOMER AWARD (newest friend) Hmm.. once again, I think Shawnna gets this one. I'm a bit scared- we like the same clothing stores, restaurants, friends..this could mean a giant dent in my wallet.

4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR Two-fold: 1) Singing "Sleepy Man" in Robber Bridegroom every night for a month. One of the proudest and most exciting moments .of my theatrical life so far. 2) Seeing articles about House of the Roses in In Style Magazine and Dance Spirit.

5) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR ongoing family and friend illnesses.

6) BEST HOLIDAY My birthday. (is that a holiday?) Seriously. I cannot remember the last time I laughed like that for hours on end.

7) YOUR SONG FOR 2007 Um, Everybody's a bit racist?

8) MOVIE FOR 2007 Well, I don't really watch many movies, so by default, 30 days of Night, Halloween, and No Country for Old Men

9) WITH WHOM DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES DAY? I can't remember- either with Avery or working. I gave up valentine's day in fourth grade. John Maybrier gave me a rose, and i just decided...it doesn't get any better than this...

10) BEST RELATIONSHIP the one between me and my bed.

11) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN? Although I was unable to pull it off in time, I wanted to be a sausage. I simply wanted to be sitting at my desk at work, and as everyone came in to the office, I would be there, in a plush sausage outfit, with fat white fingers, typing at my computer, waving hello. What actually happened is I put on all my worst 80's inspired dance clothes and went to dinner with my friend john, who went as a one eyed pimp.

12) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR Schillers, you will always treat me right, but Centro is running a close second currently..

13) BOOK OF THE YEAR You know, I actually am reading a book about the carriage trade real estate industry in NY right now- upper class, high soceity fifth avenue stuff. I think it takes the cake. Makes me wonder why people are allowed to exist..

14) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR To take care of myself and stop being a twat.

15) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR? get M*ther F*cking rich. And travel a bit.

16) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK We all know that I most certainly do not get drunk

17) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR Big fan of the heroes. Looking forward to Lost

18) MOST LOYAL FRIEND Sarah is a shoe-in, but Jermaine gets it for this year. Lots of bad stuff happened that I didn't really want to share with anyone, but he could always be found in our living room listening if I needed it.

19) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR I cut off all my toes in the name of fashion.

20) BIGGEST RETARD AWARD My superintendent, who instead of fixing the plumbing so our ceiling will stop leaking and falling in us has now recovered the ceiling with plaster twice- magically hoping that this will somehow fix itself.

21) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION Book a commercial. Share my passion and knowledge with others. Meet a lot of people who can teach me something new. Work harder not to be so closed off to inviting new people into my life in new ways. Continue to eat and live as healthy as possible. Keep appreciating my amazing friends to the fullest extent possible. Travel out of the country. Attempt to sustain a relationship for longer than two weeks. Sing my face off this summer. :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 01:27:37 GMT

choosing an artform as your career has always been tricky. We've lived through hundreds of years of painters, actors, dancers, and musicians pursuing their passion, knowing that they deserve to earn their livelihood from their talents. It seems that along with that pursuit comes a certain sense of tunnel vision. When our bottom line is the art we create, and everything else is a means to an end, we sometimes forget that there are other people essential to our journey who have a more "practical" bottom line (and it isn't people's happiness). Or, perhaps we actually don't forget about them, but, in fact, we co-exist so peacefully for a time, that we trick ourselves into thinking that maybe this could all work out.

Enter the Local 1 strike. The effects of this on my life, and millions of others, are so far reaching - each day as we all convene in bars, in the theatre and in the streets to talk through this mess and try to sort out how we feel (the epitome of wallowing in a gray area), we become aware of a new piece of the fallout - things we couldn't have even imagined when this started, and probably won't be able to fully process for a long time.

I have felt something this week that I have never felt before. Shame to be in this profession. We have unknowingly/knowingly tied ourselves, as artists and as a union, so closely to these people that we have lost any ability to stick to the principles we have committed ourselves to being guided with. No matter how you feel about the situation, if you choose to be practical, you have to support this strike - because if you don't, and the producers break Local 1, May will be the beginning of the end for acting, designing, creating as a Profession.

It's November 20th, 2007, and I'm looking down the barrell of a shotgun that might end my ability to be recognized as a professional AND an artist. To be treated with the dignity and respect that my committment to my art, my discipline, my talent and my drive demands.

And for what? A union that abuses it's power and the producers who let them do it. Now, the world is talking about unions outliving their usefulness, and I'm thinking, that can't be true; without our union, we go back to the beginning (although, would that be a bad thing?)

In the end, there will always be an artist who is willing to do his or her work for a lot less than they are worth, because the art is what really matters at the end of the day. And there will always be the other people, whose livelihood is "just a job" and who will demand and pressure and coerce until they get what they feel is fair compensation for their unhappiness.

Black and white is almost non-existant in this situation, and certainly, both sides are at fault in what has turned out to be a complete disaster. But what I do know is that I have been bullied, by the situation, by the unions, and by the circumstances, to support one side of this disagreement, or else lose my life as I know it. I cannot tell you how sad I am to have ended up in a situation like that.

I would also be remiss in not mentioning what this strike has done to everyone else in the city who are not directly involved; our sales at our restaraunt are down thousands and thousands of dollars. In a city where being a waiter is a career, the effects of this drop off during the holidays puts an enormous number of families in hardship. Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS raises 30% of their funds from Broadway shows during this season. Their individual Grant Giving in January is drawn from the holiday drives. Since they'll be losing upwards of 3 million dollars, what happens to the AIDS organization in Iowa who was depending on that grant to keep their facility running?

After almost two weeks of talking about this, with friends, customers, other artist, I still don't have a clearcut idea of where the right is in this mess of wrong. What I do know is the uneasy feeling I have, of the strange and somber atmosphere of all the theatre people in my bar, of the deserted streets in Hells Kitchen during a holiday week, and of the sadness I feel that it ever came to this...

return of the mack

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 14:59:45 GMT

I started blogging so I could share all the wonderful/hilarious/intriguing/retarded NYC stories I could possibly come up with (didn't have to try very hard, did I?). Somewhere between traveling a lot and being busy in the past few years, I've forgotten to take a few minutes to look around and notice what's been going on (or perhaps it's just because I couldn't afford contact and actually couldn't see). One way or the other, I was inspired to write again this week, which is a nice feeling.

Last Sunday, the House of the Roses kids and I spent the morning at the New York City marathon. We were at the 20 mile marker, and I can't remember ever being a part of something so inspirational. There is something so magic about A) watching so many people (they were running by us for almost two hours) do the seemingly impossible- running 26 miles! and B) having a whole neighborhood in the Bronx out on the streets with the express purpose of cheering these people on and supporting them- clapping, yelling, cheering, dancing-- giving them the energy and strength to continue on and finish... It was truly one of those moments where you become acutely aware of, excited and inspired by the seemingly endless possiblities of human acheivment. Also, to all those who say New Yorkers are rude and mean, I say, come to the Willis Bridge Marathon Block Party in the Bronx next year. You're missing out. ;)

In other news, my life has once again proven to be a modern continuation of the I Love Lucy show. The other day, I accidently paid over $400 to get my hair dyed and cut. Accidently. Accidently!! I can feel your doubt and judgement from over here, but you can quit that right about now. ;) There was a serious discrepancy in the information provided to me by my friend who booked my appointment, and what actually ended up happening. Anyway, on the I Love Jessi show, I get up from the salon chair, so excited, looking great, walk up to the front desk...the gal says, "That will be $364.00 please". My eyes roll back in the back of my head, I comically pass out. Then I have to go home and explain to Ricky (Jermaine) how I accidenly spent $400 on my hair. $400 on my hair! Did I mention $400 on my hair? Only in New York kids, only in New York.

Finally, you know it is a sad state affairs when the holiday season is rung in by none other than...Starbucks. I went in to get my coffee this morning, pissy and tired, and the place was all decked out for the holidays, with visions of EggNog Lattes dancing in my head. All of a sudden, there was a smile on my face and I was looking forward to life.

Thank you Starbucks. You are truly commerce at it's best.

Happy Holidays ya'll.

Life likes to laugh...

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 03:40:56 GMT

Man.

I get home from seeing what may be my favorite horror movie EVER (House of 1000 corpses, in case you are counting) in the best mood (is it weird that grisly gorey horror movies make me happy?) only to find out that Tommie Walsh died today. For those of you who don't know, he's the original Bobby in A Chorus Line (among other things). I didn't know him well, but I had met and chatted with him quite a few times, through Donna.... He was responsible for my nickname "Ms. Kittens" and was so delightfully kind to me every time I met him. Couple that with the fact that I know intimately how much Donna cared for and respected him as well as Mitzi, the woman I learned the original choreo to ACL from...all these bizarre connections-- he just kept coming into my life. He was so young, and last I saw him, there was no sign of illness...anyway, I'm totally flabbergasted, and for some weird reason, really feeling the loss of him in our community... This, of course, is all on the tail of finding out the man who stage manages Roses are Dance ( my non-profits year end show) who is the most kind, giving, generous, professional, delightful man I know in the Broadway theatre, has pancreatic cancer and it's getting worse... it was so difficult to see him Monday, completely gray, aged ten years since last summer, and very gaunt...

no matter how many times you go through it, it never gets easier, does it?

ugh.

Word is on the playground

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 17:48:24 GMT

Like everything else in my life (particularly keeping my room clean), blogging seems to go out the window when my life gets crazy. You'd think it would help me to organize my thoughts and keep track of what's going on, but unfortunately it seems to fall under the opposite effect. My thoughts and goings-ons seem to pile up until there's just too much to put into writing...

That being said, I think it's a good thing that today I feel confidant that I can sit down and write about all that has been going on in my life! So, I apologize for this not being one of my usual essay-style blogs...Gotta get the catching up out of the way so I can move on with my life and tell you about all the idiotic things I've said/done/experienced lately.

Most of you know that I got back to the city at the beginning of January after being gone for almost 7 months...I did three shows while I was away, survived 3 deaths and one MAJOR family emergency (that continues to be on-going, unfortunately). I learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of, who I am and who I want to be in the context of the world, instead of the context of college. I accomplished an amazing amount, and have never been so proud of what I pulled through to accomplish it.

Coming back to the city with that kind of personal atmosphere has been stunning. There's a great quote about success that I love:

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." (Dale Carnegie)

Of course, as per usual, I seem to be particularly adept at taking things a bit too literally...I did overbook myself a bit...so much so that the past few sundays I've had one rehearsal from 11-3, another from 3-5 and another from 5-10. Makes for long days, but it is SO much better than bartending!

Anyway, this is the jist of what I'm currently working on:

The Missouri State Talent Connection site is well on it's way to being completed. New York City is almost at it's most comprehensive and inclusive state. We've begun to work on LA and Other Cities as well. All portions of the site are up and running, and I truly believe the site is going to be an invaluable resource for MSU grads.

I just finished co-choreographing and co-directing Little Maestros Live that played the Nokia Theatre in Times Square on March 4th. It’s a 1600 seat theatre and I’m happy to say that we sold out the final show! Choreographing for this company has been a great experience—they are repped by William Morris, so my choreography and direction has now been seen by Nickelodeon, Disney, and Warner Bros.; it has also been featured on PBS and the Today Show! It’s an opportunity that I never could have guessed would have been given to me here in NYC.

I am currently in rehearsals for a staged reading of Anton Chekhov’s Three Sisters. The project is actually called 3 Times 3 Sisters. A PhD candidate from NYU is writing her dissertation on an actor’s perspective of 125 different translations of Chekhov’s last four plays. She took the little known Clifford Odets translation, and then interpolated David Mamet, Langford Wilson and Brian Friel’s translations into the script, in order to highlight how different translations may or may not provide in depth insight into the characters and their lives, and Chekhov’s overall meaning. In order to incorporate the extra translations, our production has multiples of most characters. For instance, there are three Olgas; I am playing Olga #2. It’s a really interesting project, and is totally up my alley. I am fortunate enough to be working with some incredible actors on it- our Solyony was in the Off-Broadway Tracey Letts play “Bug” last season, and our Irina 2 just booked Tobias on the national tour of Sweeny Todd, among others. It’s wonderful to have such a great project to work on, and such great people to work on it with.

We just had our Gala for House of the Roses Volunteer Dance Company this past Wednesday. I won’t say too much about it, because I plan on posting pictures once I get them back from the photographer, but I will say that I have never seen our kids so proud and empowered as they were on that night. I can say with confiDANCE that I think this is our best year ever!

Thanks to Ms. Donna McKechie, I got to bartend a birthday party for Harvey Evans at his apartment. If you don’t know who he is, IBDB him immediately, particularly if you are a musical theatre person. It was a surreal and religious experience. I was in a room with Harvey, Marge Champion, Tony Stevens, Alan Johnson, Sandra Lee among others. Standing there, watching film clips of their choreography and listening to Marge and Alan tell stories of dancing for MGM, and their community of gypsy friends was quite possibly the most amazing evening I have ever had. I walked out of the apartment and immediately had a breakdown walking down the street, because I could not (and still cannot) believe how lucky I am to keep company with these people.

Also because of that evening, I finally came up with a wonderful idea for my one-woman/cabaret show. I won’t disclose the particulars yet, but I will say that because the idea is so specific and unique, I was able to lock down a wonderful gentleman who will be writing the book for the show for me! That is so exciting for me as I now have a director and a book writer. I’m hoping a friend of mine will be the musical consultant…Then I just have to lock down my musical director and I am well on my way to a great show! Look for out of town tryouts in a city near you. ;)

Finally, David Hasselhoff came into the restaurant last night, and I refused to wait on him. I just couldn’t do it in good faith, and I’m willing to guess that if you have seen the DVD of Jekyll and Hyde, you would probably make the same choice. He walked in in this full length black leather trench coat and already I had started laughing… When he got on his cell phone for the entirely of dinner (despite his date looking bored) and was overheard saying “JIMBO! It’s Dave. I’m back in New York! I’m at ::name of restaurant::!!” It was over for me. I had to excuse myself to the back I was laughing so hard… what a chooch. ;)

Oh, and also, I'm going to see the Shins at Madison Square Garden tomorrow night.

Alright! Catch up is done, now time for the good stuff….

Au Revoir!

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 12:49:56 GMT

Bon Voyage Springfield and Kansas City!!

It doesn't seem real...

Mushy recap/reminiscing post to come,

but for now-

Goodbye to all, I love you much,

and hello my OWN BED!!!!

Woot!

Recording for Posterity

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 22:11:06 GMT

Actually, I'm putting this here, in print, so I can look at it and remind myself of these things throughout the year...whether or not they are really predictions of what is to come, they remain good things for me to keep in mind, I think...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are a take-charge, run-your-own-show kind of person who is generally comfortable with responsibility squarely on your shoulders. However, learning to share the load is both your gift and challenge this year. Support is available to you from several sources, but that means having to give up some control. It's natural to resist; after all, you've been self-reliant in so many ways for most of your life. Trusting that someone else will do things exactly as you would is probably not easy. The lesson, though, is in learning that there are many effective ways to get a job done. Accepting this fact opens the door wide to a more rewarding year ahead...Take plenty of time for (sic) contemplative work, even if it makes you less visible socially or professionally. This is a rare chance to advance your spiritual knowledge, a once-every-twelve-years magical retreat, when you recharge your batteries and quest for higher meaning....Eclipses in March, late August, and September occurring in your 3rd House of Communication and 9th House of Big Ideas provide new facts that alter your beliefs and future plans. Don't allow stubborn pride to keep you from taking in this information, even though it rocks your boat. Emotions can distort data so that you misread the signs. Take a breath when you react strongly to an unfamiliar idea. Rely on your logic to assess what you hear in a less defensive manner so that you can objectively measure its usefulness...Dissatisfaction within a partnership or as a single person requires a serious reassessment of your goals and expectations. Facing the hard truths of what you want and don't want works best with a combination of compassion and honesty. Be real, but without being mean or accepting abuse in return. It takes courage to keep your heart open when trust has been shaken, yet that is exactly what it takes to get what you need...If you are on your own, step up and take risks to connect with others. This isn't a one-time deal. It's about making an ongoing and dedicated effort to find the affection you deserve and desire. Persistence pays off, because each time you try, you learn something valuable that increases your odds of future success.

A Novel Idea...

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 18:22:31 GMT

The problem with being a voracious bookreader is twofold, as I see it:

1) You start looking at life with a "big picture" view... you know, okay, this this and this happened to me over the past few months, and I got to do this and that-- what picture do all of these pieces of the puzzle reveal? I suppose my point is that I seem to be given to a sense of the dramatic (:;gasp::) and sometimes that I forget my life isn't a Gabriel Garcia Marquez book... Just because everything is going right, doesn't mean it's all because I'm going to kick off next month and it's my last hoorah...It also means that sometimes it's good to remember that it's probably not a good idea to live life waiting for a Henry Higgins, or assume that things are going to work out the same way they worked out for Katharine Hilbery...

(then again, a guy on the real world just took a girl up to a flower-laden cliff to have their first kiss... so on second thought, who needs books anyway?)

2) Sometimes, you meet someone new and are trying to make a good impression and be hip and cool, and then books are mentioned and you yell with passion in your voice and a fist to the sky, "Have you read A Tale of Two Cities? You have to read it! It is so amazing" And in that flash of a moment, you almost decide to go on and tell him how excited you got over Dickens command of language and the way he translates the world into prose that verges on poetry, and then you realize that you have already completely exposed your dweebery and should probably just stop there.

In an unrelated note, Jimmy Boswell, wherever you are, I dreamt about you last night. And in my dream, you were wearing white espidrilles.

I'm very sorry.

Oh, for the love of muthical theatre...

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 22:23:25 GMT

What Musical Are You?
A Chorus Line You're A Chorus Line! You're wild, kinky, and love dance. Music is your life. You've had a dramatic past, but then again, who hasn't?
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